Day 01 -> Something you hate about yourself

I’m a confident person.
There really is not much that I don’t like about myself. I actually do think that I’m kind of a nice guy.
But that’s not really what the blog challenge is about, is it?
So here we go…
I don’t like my bandy legs. They’re all skew and bendy and stuff, and it means that I can’t run very fast. Now it’s ok to not be the fastest runner. Except if you want to play other sports. When you’re playing cricket, you have to run between the wickets. The more you run, the higher you score. So if you run slowly, you score less. I made up for that by having strong arms and good timing, so I hit loads of boundaries. If you want to play rugby, you have to run fast. I mean I kick like a champion, but because I run so damn slowly I could never play fly-half (the position I’m perfect for if only I could run). Instead I played lock. Instead of kicking, I got to jump up and down. awesome. If you want to play hockey, you have to run fast. Anyone sensing a pattern here? I am a deadly accurate and powerful striker. But rather than play centre forward where you get to use those skills, I played sweeper. The position generally reserved for the fatties who can’t run at all. All the sweeper gets to do is hang back tackle the crap out anything that comes running his way. Awesome huh? Well at least I got exercise my super powerful and accurate striking in the set pieces. So every time there’s a short corner up I would trudge all that way to the opposite end of the field to take the hit. And I scored most times. yay me. But although I curse my bandy legs, I don’t really hate them. They’re mine.
I really dislike my belly. Shame, my belly is not alone. There’s a cuddly layer of insulation that surrounds my entire body. Then again, that’s just a removable part of my body. I can just eat properly and up my exercise a little, and that insulating layer will slowly diminish. No. that’s not it.
I’m really stubborn. I can’t let go sometimes. That may seem like the kind of thing you list in your “weaknesses” section of a job interview, because it shows tenacity. This is not that type of stubborn. Arguments that should really have ended in about ten minutes, tend to last a day instead. If you have ever been in a serious relationship, you’ll know that the longer an argument drags out the more you get hurt in the end. That little gem is purely mathematics really. If you think about it: In a heated argument you’ll probably say something hurtful every 5 minutes. A 10 minute argument is therefore less hurtful than a 30 minute argument, and significantly less hurtful than an hour long arg….you get the point. My stubbornness makes arguments last longer than they should. I should hate that right? Well, I do, but it’s not the one thing.
As weird as it may seem, I hate that I don’t exude urgency.
Is that not the dumbest thing you have ever heard? It’s a really good thing when you’re dealing with an emergency and people’s lives depend on your reactions. Which is a situation that I am actually faced with from time to time. The problem is that when I should show that I’m stressed or panicking, I don’t. It’s affected my job (Managing Director believed I was doing nothing just because I wasn’t running around like a crazy person) and relationships (romantic and family). It may have caused one or two of the fights that my stubbornness made worse.

So there you have it;

I hate that I don’t communicate my urgency enough.


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